Doctor: I think you'll need a shot
Doctor: AYYYYY *brings out tequila*
Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. If you look thru the left hand windows right now you’ll see me doing the worm on the runway
So glad I didn’t fucking get ready for you.
I hate you, you gross fat hick pig
ankle feels great….but im hella hopped up and sleeper than evr
I know you know it’s a joke and that I’m drunk but when you even joking said do you wanna break up I started sobbing. I could never want that. I love you and this is the greatest good thing I’ve ever won. I love you babe, please don’t leave.